Secrets of Intimacy, newest book due June 1, 2015

Secrets of Intimacy, How to Stay on the Nxtt Pillow, 
by Paschal Baute, 2015.
is in final editing and formatting Here is teh Introduction. Next week, look here  foe the Table of Contents.

Introduction,

The average length of a first marriage in the United States is seven years. The average length of a second marriage is about seven years. Vows of "For better or for worse" are no more sustaining the second time than the first. Seventy percent the time, it is women who file for divorce. Women are no better than men in this capacity. The percentage of married couples who reach their 35th anniversary is now only 20%. The overall percentage of children born out of wedlock is 40% . The hidden epidemic in our country is the loss of our capacity for intimacy needed to sustain marriage.

Basically, the single parent is now our social norm. This means that children living with a single parent do not learn the skills of intimacy in sharing that make marriage work. More than ever, the competencies found in intimacy need exploring. How do couples who sustain a happy marriage make it work? This book unpacks and explores those desperately needed "secrets." It also offers a step by step guide for couples seeking to both understand and renew their relationship.

This book is based on research with happily married couples, four decades of listening to couples in conflict and the author's own marriage of 47 years. He guides the read through a progressive understanding of the skills and competencies needed to sustain intimacy "for better or for worse."

Nineteen components and twelve themes are described. Clinical situations from marital counseling point toward specific learning needed. Arenas of self-understanding, emotions and finding fault are explored. Each chapter offers insights for discussion and practical application. Four key stumbling blocks are discussed and remedies described.

Persons or couples willing to examine their capacity for intimacy will find this book a helpful practical guide. Intimacy is viewed as the core competency for building relationships. for marital success and personal fulfillment

Intimacy can be rediscovered at most any stage. However, some building blocks must be in place. Each must bring something new to the relationship. Primarily it must be a decision to let go of the past, in a spirit of forgiveness, acceptance of one's own faults, and a thorough on-going commitment to renewal and rediscovery. These chapters are deemed essential to the rediscovery process. Tips for Forgiveness, Ten agreements for staring, and a treasury of starting over statements.

The Appendix offers an Inventory for self-assessment in avoiding intimacy, as well as the story of the author's own search for intimacy.

This book is also a program of total wellness, for oneself and one's relationships. It is a re-framing of one's life in the context of intimacy, calling us to live wholeheartedly.