Do Not Follow My Advice

DO NOT FOLLOW MY ADVICE, I used to tell my clients in therapy until you have consulted your pillow at least several days. If you do that, then you have owned your choices, they are yours, not mine

In critical situations also, it is best to check back in 5,6, 7 days as views and insights may have changed; new resources may have emerged, and the perspective can be different.

In some fifty plus years of listening, I have observed several key skills are often missing for coping with stress, any stress. One is that many have not learned or practiced sorting out their feelings, talking about hem and see that feelings are just feelings, not harbingers or accurate, but flags calling for attention.

Secondly, many do not challenge or control the chatter between their ears.  they do not typically step back and refocus or reframe, consider another point of view. I remember a son who complained, "whenever i present a problems, you always take the other view, never mine.

Thirdly, and most dangerously, whatever we deny or hide form in ourselves, we tend to "put out there, outside, on others, and project it on others. The angry will find angry people. We tend to dump our unresolved feeling son others and on particular others, especially family members.

Many are addicted to finding fault in order to justify themselves. Many enjoy finding themselves once more in the victim role.

We crave fairness, but in fact, "Fair is county carnival, which comes once each year." We do not live in a fair, or just world.

Recommended here are three books, all on kindle:
Me and My Shadow Self
Forgiveness
Anything Wort Doing Is Worth Doing Badly
Print version of this title is available on Amazon as Laughing at My Perfectionism.

Anyone could be happier understanding the views about our human nature presented in those three books. Here is my Thanksgiving gift to the world: years of listening formatted to be helpful to others.